Ma

"A daughter is a mother's gender partner, her closest ally in the family confederacy, an extension of her self. And mothers are their daughters' role model, their biological and emotional road map, the arbiter of all their relationships." ~Victoria Secunda

This morning I got a call from a co-worker who was running late. He told me that last evening his mother-in-law had passed away in her sleep, and he had been taking care of some things for his wife before he came into work. I have never met his wife, but immediatly my heart dropped because she is expecting her first child come October. The death was unexpected. Her mother was young and had no serious health problems.

After hearing this news, I couldn't help but think about my own sweet mother. She has been my best friend since my teen years, and I would always turn to her for advice and counsel before anyone else. It would be terribly difficult to lose her at any time in my life, but I think it would be the most heart-breaking at this point in my life since I am now pursuiting the role of mother for the first time. I look forward to my mom coming up after my baby is born to be reminded of all the things she's already taught me about being a good mother and to just be a quiet strength. I know that I will call her countless times a day looking for advice and a good laugh. I couldn't have asked for a better example for a mother. She is selfless, talented and beautiful. She balances her life with an amazing ease that I know I will never be able to grasp. I pray that the Lord will guide me to be the kind of mother she is and that I will get to have many more years of her wisdom in my life.

Thanks Ma, for being my best friend!

Missionaries

Growing up, my family was always very supportive of the missionaries and the work that they did. My parents were always willing to open their home for discussions with investigators and for feeding the Elder's hearty appetites. The spirit these young men brought into our home was special and always a wonderful example to me as I grew up. When I married Adam, that involvement with the missionaries continued. It made me happy to see him seek out the missionaries and volunteer to go on splits with them everytime we moved to a new ward. I knew that supporting the missionaries would be important in the new family we established.

At least twice a month Adam and I have Family Home Evening with the missionaries and another sister in our ward. I always look forward to those Mondays.

My brothers, Dario and Josh, just entered the MTC (missionary training center) last Wednesday. As we were sitting at the kitchen table last night, playing a game for the FHE activity, I realized that my brothers were now missionaries just like these young men sitting with us. It seemed a little strange to me for I still see them with wrinkled pants and an untucked shirt walking into the chapel. I also was reminded that the Elders who were sitting at our table have families at home who are praying for thier success and safety just as Adam and I pray for my brothers every night. It made me hope that wherever Dario and Josh go, they will be taken care of and supported in all the labors that they perform. I know that the Lord will watch over them, just as he's watched over the missionaries here. I also have a stronger desire to support the missionaries in any way I can because to someone else, they are probably that younger brother who was told time and time again by his mother to "tuck in his shirt."

Lo siento, pero no puedo hablar en espanol...

I know this is going to be a long post, but I have to get this off my chest.

The title of this post is supposed to say, "I'm sorry, but I cannot speak in Spanish." To be honest, I don't really know if I wrote it correctly or not. I have a really great maiden name...Zuluaga! Yep, you read that correctly, and yes, I was always last in anything that was alphabetical. My last name was a great conversation starter, and it was fun to tell people that my dad is from Colombia, South America.
Since I've gotten married to someone with a common last name, the questions don't come very often. I rarely have the opportunity to tell people that I'm half Colombian. No one asks me anymore whether or not I speak Spanish (both my parents are fluent), and I don't have to embarassingly admit that I don't. Now, it's not my parent's fault that I don't speak Spanish. The language was often used in my home, and I understand what my parents are saying when they speak in Spanish. There is a home video that we have from when I was two or three with someone speaking to me in English and I had NO idea what they were saying. My dad then repeated the question to my confused, little self in Spanish, and I responded without hesitation (in Spanish)! Anyways, somewhere along the way I just lost it. Maybe it was the fact that I lived in an English speaking country or maybe I was just lazy.

It doesn't really matter why I lost it. It just matters that I did lose it. So, why am I even writing all of this? Last week I found one of my cousins from Colombia on Facebook. Since then, I have found many more of my relatives from Colombia on there. I can read what they write to me, but I can't respond, and it is horrible! There are so many things I want to talk to them about without having to wait for a translation from my mom or dad. I've been kicking myself all week for not having tried harder to learn Spanish. Why didn't I even try responding to my parents in Spanish instead of using English all the time?

As I was looking at pictures of my family in Colombia, I realized that I am a stranger. A moment of enlightenment hit me when I saw this picture:This is a picture of my Tia (aunt) Liliana. If you look at the bottom right hand corner, you'll see a picture of Adam and me. I felt so much shame when I saw this picture. I am not a stranger to them; I am family. Yet, I have let them become strangers to me by not making more of an effort to reach out to them. As I looked at the pictures my Tia Clarena had on facebook, I was filled with some sorrow and regret for refusing to talk to my abuela on the phone when my dad would try to hand it to me (again, the whole fear of not being able to talk in Spanish) and all the other times I didn't make an effort.

It's really been bothering me that I have little of my Colombian heritage to give to my baby girl. I don't make Colombian food, have any CDs with vallenatos or speak Spanish! Who am I to steal that from her? After all, it's part of her heritage too. So, I've decided that I am going to learn Spanish. I'm going to put all my fears and laziness aside and make all those mistakes that come along with learning a new language. I am going to talk to my family in Colombia and share what I learn with my children. My kids will help me prepare arepas and frijoles for dinner while listening to Vallenatos, and maybe one day, we'll even visit Colombia.

For now, here are some pictures of my family in Colombia.

This is my cousin Jose and my abuela. My dad looks a lot like her.

From left to right: My tia Liliana, my cousin (Andres), Angelica's little girl (Ana Maria), and my cousin (Angelica).
My abuela, Tia Liliana and my abuelo. I don't know why this last one is so small, but it's my abuela and tia Clarena

I'm concerned for my children!!!

When I first met Adam, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. When I started dating Adam, I thought I had found my prince. When I married Adam, he turned back into a frog...and I am VERY concerned about the effects it will have on our children!!!! It gets worse...this runs on my side of the family too!

Only it's much more severe on my side...

Okay, maybe it's just as bad on Adam's side!

Hopefully it just runs in boys, and I'll pray for girls!!!

Carro de Boi

Dario and Josh (the ones being strangled by Adam) are my 18-year-old brothers. They are getting ready to go on their missions, and this is the last time Adam and I will see them before they leave for two years. They turn 19 in April and have sent in their papers!

For a last hoo-rah, we took them to aBrazilian Grill! This place is the BEST! The boys had never been to one of these types of restaurants and lets just say that they absolutly loved it! The meat there is so tender and flavorful. It was so fun to watch them eat. Every time Josh would try a new type of meat, his face would melt into this "I could die now and be content" look. It was fun to chat with Dario and Josh about their plans for the future.

Daddy and Arepas

I'm not really sure how much everyone who reads this blog knows about me. There are some things about my life that I haven't said (or written) much about. I don't think I've said much about my dad on here and that's probably because I live so far away from him, just like the rest of my family. My dad has to travel a lot for work, but he was able to be home during the time Adam and I were in Georgia. I was so glad that we got to have him around while we were there!

My dad loves to experiment with food. I don't know if I'm supposed to tell this to everyone, but my dad had to teach my mom how to cook when they first got married (my mom is a great cook now)! My dad was always making up new dishes in the kitchen. Some were delish...some were not (like his spinach macaroni and cheese). One of the things he makes best are arepas! MMMmmm! They're not a made up dish, but a wonderful food that he ate while growing up in Colombia. This was a common Saturday breakfast at my house and they never last very long. Sadly, I never learned how to make them, so when Daddy made them during our trip I was thrilled!

Little Mulberry Park

My four-year-old brother, Dallen (aka Dito) has been so excited to take me to Little Mulberry Park since he found out Adam and I were coming to Georgia. We decided to go and play one evening.

Dito doing what he does best...play!

I think the weight is a little unbalanced..

I decided to have a go at it myself!

Dallen was also really excited for me to meet their new dog, Sheila. She came to the park too and Daddy took her for a walk while we played on the playground. Growing up, my family frequently visited the park. It definitly made me feel back at home hanging out at Little Mulberry Park.

Blue Willow Inn

For Adam's Spring Break, we took a trip down to Georgia to visit my family. We enjoyed spending time with the family. We tried to spend as much time as we could outside because it was warm and sunny! Two things we rarely experience during the Cleveland winters.

One of the days Adam and I went with my parents to Social Circle, Georgia where we enjoyed some Old Southern Cooking at the Blue Willow Inn. It's an old antebellum restaurant and the food was delish! They had the best biscuits I've ever eaten...perfectly flakey and buttery! Yum!

As you can see, there are flowers in the background and greenery everywhere! We definitly have missed the beautiful scenery.

It was so fun spending the day with my parents. Their conversations kept making me laugh because they sound like the family's conversation at the dinner table in While You Were Sleeping. Nothing they say really relates to what the other one said, except for maybe one or two words!

Zuluaga Family Pictures

We got family pictures taken during our visit to Georgia. Click here to see them. Deborah Ard is the photographer and did an excellent job. This is the last time the whole family will be together for the next two years. Dario and Josh will both be leaving for their missions before Adam and I are able to make it back to Georgia. We decided to jump at the opportunity to take family pictures. Enjoy!

International Waffle Day - The Tradition

For a few years now the Zuluaga family (Zuluaga is my maiden name) has been celebrating International Waffle Day. A while back my brother, Josh, kept asking my mom to make waffles, but she always had some excuse to not do it. One day Josh told my mom that February 6th was International Waffle Day. Now, since my mom likes holidays so much she went all out making a bunch of waffles on that day and we got to eat them with whatever toppings we wanted...ice cream,. chocolate syrup, strawberries, sprinkles, jam, you name it! We continued the celebration each year. Then the truth finally came out...there is no such thing as International Waffle Day. Josh made the whole thing up so that my mom would make waffles! Well, by this point we had done it so much that it became tradition. Here are some pictures of the prep work for the holiday this year:

The glorious toppings:

We had our friends Amber and Dan over to enjoy the feast!

Kirtland

While my family was visiting for Thanksgiving, we took a drive to Kirtland, Ohio. It was the first time my family had been together to visit a church history site (excluding Temple Square in Salt Lake City). We started our tour at the Kirtland Temple and then went over to the LDS visitor's center and N.K. Whitney Store. We had a nice little surprise at the visitor center because the video they were showing was different than the one they usually show. Instead of one about old Kirtland, they showed the new Joseph Smith movie that originally played in the theatre at temple square. Adam and I had already seen the video in Rexburg, Idaho, but my family hadn't seen it and wouldn't get the opportunity in Georgia. My mom was so excited when she found out what video she was about to see. The movie is so good and always helps me appreciate the wonderful blessings that the gospel brings to my life. I am grateful that I know that Heavenly Father, Jesus Christ, and the Holy Ghost are three seperate beings. Because of this, I am able to have a personal relationship with each one and understand the important role of each in my life. I hope that I will be stong enough to make the sacrifices needed in my life to instill a love and understanding of the gospel in my future children.

I love this picture because of Dallen. It had been a really long day for the little four-year-old who had to watch historical movies he didn't understand. He fell asleep, and we woke him up for a picture. You can tell he wasn't too happy about it!

Thankful for Family!

This was Adam and mine's first Thanksgiving together as a married couple. We got to have the wonderful treat of hosting Thanksgiving for my family at our house. They drove all the way up from Georgia to share the holiday with us. My mom is such a good cook, so it was nice to have her help in the kitchen. Adam made his delicious mashed potatoes (oh yes, he makes the best!), and he got to use his dissecting skills from podiatry school to carve the turkey.

It was nice to have my parents and four brothers around. At the holidays I always miss chaos since I grew up in a big family with a lot of noise. I must say that for those few days they were here, there wasn't a quiet moment.

Coming from Georgia, my family doesn't see a whole lot of snow. Dario prayed that there would be snow while they were here, and...

You can see that it snowed...

enough for the boys to play in the snow! It was such a fun day for everyone. I was so glad that my family was able to spend the holiday with us.